'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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