He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
