Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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