Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
