even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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