No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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