Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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