I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
