you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
