i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
