I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
