After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
