I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
