we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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