If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
