I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
