He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
