He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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