So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
