With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
