I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If I had your ass I would rule the world
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
