I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
