Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
try to milk me bitch
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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