It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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