R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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