Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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