Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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