You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
