I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
