So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
