Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You can't just leave with hair like that
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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