chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
