just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We have so much sex to catch up on
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
