We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
