Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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