That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
