drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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