Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
