i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
