is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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