i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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