You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
