Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
