ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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