dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
