i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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