Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and she was petting her beer can
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
