dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
