dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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