Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
